RSVP Blues

You've been to the Post Office and you've put all your beautiful, clean, crisp invitations into the letter box. All done. Now all you have to do is wait for the RSVPs to flood in. Initially, you will get quite a flutter from your more organised friends and loved ones but, as time goes on, you may experience some frustration as things slow down and exasperation takes over. The psychology surrounding the act of RSVP-ing to a wedding invitation is best left to the experts but this observer puts it down to the fact that, while your wedding is the biggest thing in your life, everyone else is merrily carrying on as usual and, with the best will in the world, people are really good at putting things off that do not immediately affect their day-to-day lives.  I have found that a lot of people (mostly men I'm afraid) think that telling you that they 'wouldn't miss it' when you announce your engagement is sufficient RSVP for the big day. It's not because they don't care, it's just the way things are. So the key to staving off the RSVP blues is to put in place some RSVP options that are simple and accessible to all. These are my top tips: 

1. Include an RSVP card. Lamentably, the days of putting a lovely fountain pen to paper to write a wedding acceptance is long over. This may be due to general changes to society's mores or because the digital age has made writing letters largely passe but don't expect them because they are unlikely to be forthcoming. Make it easy for your guests. Include a self-addressed postcard with your invitation and require the least input possible from the recipient. ie. say "I will/ will not be able to attend (delete as appropriate)" or words to that effect. Add a space at the bottom for dietary requirements and that's it. Most stationers will offer this product to match your invitations if you don't want to do it yourself. 

2. Put your stamp on it. Here's the important bit. When enclosing RSVP postcards or notes, it is advisable to put a stamp on each one. First or second class, it matters not. Many people put off trying to find stamps or visiting a post office in favour of something more 'urgent' to do. It's human. Put a stamp on it and then all they have to do is cross out an option and put it in the postbox. Job done.

3. Embrace technology. More and more people are introducing an option requiring guests to RSVP to their personal e-mails. Add an e-mail to the RSVP options on your invitation. Pretty much everyone under seventy (and quite a few above that age too) has access to a computer and an e-mail account. For many, it is more natural to them than using the telephone. Why not use this as the perfect opportunity to set up your joint e-mail account. eg. "janeandjoesbigday@domain.co.uk" or mrandmrssmith@domain.co.uk. Then you can compile an e-mail group of your guests to keep them updated or chase up responses with just a couple of clicks.

4. Site savvy. Why not have a wedding website built. There are companies that will do this now and they don't have to cost the earth. They can be as simple as one page with a map, times and dates and maybe a little forum for people to leave you messages. If you want to, you could even go to a domain registry and buy your own domain name. Depending upon the availability of the name you want and the end bit eg. .com. .net. .co.uk this will cost anything between £2 and around £80 for a year's registration. One word of caution though: avoid putting the date of your wedding on an internet site that is not password protected. There are just too many shady types lurking about on the information highway to risk your big day turning into a flash mob. I'm not being paranoid. It's rare but it has happened. Anyone who has received a postal invitation will know the date so that information isn't necessary.  Make sure there is a big old button somewhere prominent inviting people to RSVP now. Again, it makes it easier for people. If you are the creative type, there are a number of free web-builders on the internet where you can build your own site without having to know about code and geeky stuff. You will still need to pay for hosting but this does not need to be more than a few pounds a month. 

5. Blog it. If you aren't sure you want the hassle and expense of a website, there is another option available to you. You may well be the type to want to create a running record of your preparations leading up to your big day and, if so, why not start a blog to record your thoughts and updates and ask your guests to follow your progress. There are many free blogging sites that allow you to get up and running in a matter of minutes. Blogs are just another form of website that has the benefit being free while encouraging interaction with your friends and family. Add an RSVP link and there'll be no excuse for them not to get in touch.

5. Facebook. Not an option I'd go with because it is extremely public but if the majority of your guests are devotees of the social networking site, it might be worth creating an event page or group that includes the option to RSVP. Again, it is a very simple way to keep people apprised of developments about your event with the minimum possible effort. Again, please note that it is ill-advised to post the date of your wedding on a public website.

5. Friends with benefits. Your bridesmaids and groomsmen aren't just in it for the dress and the stag do. They are essentially your unpaid help for the day and their job begins when you start planning your wedding. Hopefully, you will have at least one or two trustworthy types amongst your wedding party who can take on the job of fielding your RSVPs and, more importantly, to chase up the stragglers. Give someone this job. A quick phone call or e-mail from a wedding attendant is a lot less confrontational for those afflicted by radio silence than one from the bride or groom and it takes some of the weight off your shoulders too. If none of your bridesmaids or groomsmen fit the bill, ask a parent or sibling instead. The key word here is trust. Give them a deadline and ask them to stick to it. 

5. Spread your bets. Give people as many options as possible to RSVP in as timely a fashion as possible. I'm not suggesting use all the options I've written about above but definitely use more than one: as a minimum, I would suggest the SAE and e-mail options but the fact is, the sooner you know what sort of numbers you're dealing with, the less stressed you will feel, particularly if you have a second round list in mind. It may be necessary and a commonplace practice but nobody is fooled as to their place in the pecking order when an invitation drops onto their doormat with a fortnight to go. 

I hope this has been helpful. If you have any comments about this post or any personal experience to share then please do not hesitate to get in touch. Good luck! 

Guest List Blues

Arranging your seating plan is one of the most stressful things you will tackle when planning your wedding. Fact. It is also one of the last things that gets any consideration in the rush to organise all the things that have to be planned so far in advance such as booking a good photographer, caterer, choosing a dress, your stationery and flowers. I went through it just like every other bride out there so, here are my top tips for taking the pressure off:

1. Start planning well in advance. Even though it seems like a long way off, get going early on your seating plan early, even before you have all your replies back. You can add in or take people out as you go along but it will be much easier than starting from scratch as the wedding approaches and you get more and more busy. 

2. Make a list. Set up an Excel spreadsheet or a table on your computer and begin to group people together with likely table companions. If you prefer you could also do this with pieces of paper on a board but it takes up more space and you can't decamp with it to Starbucks when you're stressed out and desperately need to get a change of scene. Find out from your venue what table sizes they have available and what the maximum capacity of the dining area is. Make a separate list of odd-ones-out or people who are difficult to place so you can look for gaps for them later on.

3. Deal with sensitive issues properly. If you have family members who do not like each other for any reason, make a point of sensitively and privately discussing how they feel about where they sit. Obviously, it is your day, but you don't want it marred by a big row. Everyone has to know where they stand well in advance. It may be a difficult conversation but it is better than just 'deciding' for them. Once you have everyone's opinion, you will be in a better place to work out how to proceed. Do however make the point that the wedding breakfast will only be for a couple of hours and you would appreciate their support on your big day. Not everyone can sit on the top table and most people respect that but perhaps you could find ways to make those in your wedding party who do not end up sitting with you at dinner feel like an important part of the day. eg. giving a reading in the church, announcing the speeches or reading the cards from absent guests.

4. Create a suitable environment. When grouping guests together, think very carefully about what sort of atmosphere you would like at your wedding breakfast. I've been to a few weddings where I've been seated on a table away from my partner and often next to two people I do not know and will never meet again. This is fine for the naturally gregarious but I have to say that, personally, this is not a particularly comfortable situation. Give consideration to the individual personalities of your guests. You or your betrothed will know deep down how they will feel about where they sit. You want to ensure that your guests enjoy their meal as much as they enjoy the rest of your day.

5. Group guests according to their mutual interests and requirements. If you have a big group of mates who spend a lot of time together, seat them together. Bear age in mind when planning and make sure people with children are near a convenient exit for toilet trips and short breaks. You don't have to seat partners side by side but, as far as possible, do try to put them on the same table. And never attempt to play cupid at dinner (that's what the late night drinking and dancing is for). Finally, put older people where they can see the top table without difficulty and in a good position to hear the speeches if you are not using a PA system. If you put together a table of people who are naturally at ease with one another then you will find slotting in people who don't fall naturally into any particular group far more easy.

6. Get a second opinion. Sometimes it helps to get a little perspective. Choose someone organised and relatively impartial. When I was getting my married, my darling dad took over the job of fielding and chasing up all the RSVPs and feeding back to me regularly to help me organise. It took an enormous weight off my shoulders and he was able to give us  advice about where to put people when we got stuck. Too many cooks spoil the broth though so avoid asking too many people for their opinion.

So that's my 10 cents. If you have any further suggestions about working out a seating plan or have any experience to share, please do not hesitate to send them in. 

Start of The Process

Sample initial layout drawing for mood board

Today, I am taking a little time out from working in a job to record a little about our process here at BOYGIRLBOY. I have just been putting the finishing touches on some artwork that will eventually become part of a mood board for a lovely bride and groom who will be tie-ing the knot in April next year. 

We begin initial development of the design for our seating plans almost straight away but the real meat and bones of the work really begins when the invitations are ordered because, when that happens, the wedding party will be certain of the overall look and theme of their big day and the approximate number of guests. 

I received the invitation on the post last week beautifully presented in a lovely cream box and containing the invitation made with crisp, cream card and tied with a sage, satin ribbon. Exquisite. I derive from this much useful information. The colours: sage and cream, the style: very simple, crisp and elegant and the fonts: one is a swirling calligraphic script and the second, capitalised in bold roman sans serif. If I cannot match this font exactly, I will liaise with the stationers to get it just right. 

The number of invitations dispatched is eighty and I know from the bride that the tables will most likely seat ten people each so we are looking at eight tables. Now we have everything we need to begin on the mood board. 

This seating plan will be double mounted so I will match the inner mount a closely as possible to the sage and keep the main mount a textured cream. I am still waiting for the type of flower the bride has chosen for her bouquet so the photo aperture remains empty for now. Some couples like to include an engagement photo or other picture of themselves together but this bride is currently toying with "a white or cream bloom" to be confirmed. I will design a layout, similar the one above, for them to consider together with samples of mountboard, fonts, and frame profiles for the final desicions. 

The mood board will be sent out six to eight weeks before the date in April when the final guest list has more substance and the number of tables have been finalised. At this point we will begin on the actually production of the seating plan itself but the final guest list will not be inserted until seven to ten days before the wedding ready for dispatch to the venue.  I will revisit this project on the blog in future weeks as the seating plan takes shape. 

Please Find Your Place

I've discovered in the last month or so that we are a business that people struggle to categorise. Everything in the wedding industry seems to fall under a definitive heading: catering, dress, honeymoon, venue, stag/hen night, flowers, stationery, photography etc. For various events and publications so far I have found that I have to make a choice, pick a label if you like that captures the essence of what we're about. The closest bracket seems to be 'stationery', closely followed by 'venue decoration' since both are radically different categories in themselves, it would appear that we rather fall down the cracks. We are not a stationer - although we can provide matching items of stationery to accompany our seating plans if required. I have received inquiries about providing the additional service of place cards, menus and table names and numbers which we are more than happy to do. We do not provide venue decoration - although our framed seating plans do make an elegant and impressive introduction to the entrance of any banqueting hall.

I see us as being in the business of preserving memories. Your wedding day is only a reality for a maximum of 24 hours and, thereafter, it is committed to memory forever and the best way to remember it is through the people who were there celebrating alongside you, through photographs, guestbooks and keepsakes. 

If you are planning a formal dinner, the seating plan is something that you will personally put an exorbitant amount of time and effort into. It is a social minefield that causes stress and terrible arguments. Other than the final invitation list itself, it is the only part of a wedding that involves some serious political diplomacy. But when it's done and the pieces finally fall into place, you can sit back and look that this sea of dining harmony that you have created in the knowledge that you have arranged the perfect wedding breakfast. 

It's amazing then how many seating plans then just get thrown away or end up battered and forgotten in attics and cupboards when the celebrations are over. BOYGIRLBOY will help you to preserve all of this hard work in a beautiful bespoke frame that you can treasure forever. With our help you can make something practical into a lovely keepsake that can become a serious talking point on the wall of your home. And with our matching guestbook signature frames you can showcase some of your beautiful photography and record the sentiments and messages of your guests on the day of your wedding.

I don't mind at all that we are hard to define or slot into a category. We are unique and proud of the fact that we specialise in creating something meaningful and enduring that will last for years after the music has stopped and the champagne bottles emptied. A bit like marriage...

Bright Lights in a Dimmed Room

We're back from The Luxury Wedding Show. What a weekend! As with all worthwhile pursuits, it was, at times,  quite stressful - the memory of a hugely protracted build up on Friday will, I imagine, live with many of the exhibitors for a long time to come - but the show went on as planned and was undeniably a very classy affair. From a luxury point of view, the show really lived up to its name with hall after hall of high walled stands all covered in a soft white nubuck-like fabric and a dazzling array of exhibitors. I've come away buzzing with ideas and inspiration. We met some great people. Our fellow exhibitors in the first floor gallery (which turned out to be the only space in the Saatchi that isn't flooded with bright natural sunlight - who knew?) we're the fabulous Illustries, Josef Koppmann, Le Papillon Patisserie, Sandbanks Luxury Events and Honeybells Tent Hire - all a pleasure to meet and showcasing a quite stunning portfolio of work and experience that really brought home to us how fortunate we were to have been selected to be a part of it all.  I took some photographs of our stand (below). As with the National Show, we enjoyed a fantastically uplifting response from visitors and had a great time chatting ourselves hoarse with prospective clients and other industry professionals. I was delighted that our designs, including the new guest list signature frame, were well received and now have a lot of follow up work to do and a long list of ideas to explore going forward. My thanks to all who took the time to talk to us.

Beautiful New Photos

What a day we had yesterday. I hit a wall at about four o'clock and had to have a lie down but then, it's fair to say I've been burning the candle at both ends for the last few weeks. Just over a week to go until the Luxury Wedding Show and there are one or two more preparations to be made. First up: some great photography. I took my daughter and her friend, Oscar, along to the photo shoot with Jenny & Keith McAvoy - Wedding Photographers extraordinaire. The odds were against us; the rain wouldn't stop, time was limited and the kids were a little ornery to say the least. But that still didn't stop Jenny and Keith taking some really fantastic pictures though. Here are some of my favourites.

Here We Go Again!

Only two weeks left until The Luxury Wedding Show at big beautiful Saatchi Gallery on The King's Road and BOYGIRLBOY will be there. We will be exhibiting a wider range of different bespoke designs and rubbing shoulders with the likes of Vera Wang, Vivienne Westwood, Carolina Herrera, Aston Martin, Brides Magazine and NotOnTheHighStreet Weddings.  If I sound a little awestruck. I am. The show will be a fantastic opportunity for us to continue the wonderful momentum we got up when we launched at The National Wedding Show last weekend where BOYGIRLBOY had an amazing reception. After our experience in Earls Court I am champing at the bit to go out there and meet some more lovely brides. We will be at Stand 1010 on the first floor if you're thinking of paying the show a visit. We look forward to seeing you. More information here.

Official Launch at The National Wedding Show Earls Court

 I've barely had time to get back from London and take my coat off and I'm already getting e-mails about this weekend's launch at The National Wedding Show in Earls Court. We we're quite literally overwhelmed by the response to BOYGIRLBOY's new service and we met some really fab people too.  My personal pick of the show was Emma Drew's amazing Cake Maison, mega blog Rock My Wedding and I Am Staggered - a really original service for the boys involved in weddings (who they?) - lest we should forget them.
 I also met some really lovely engaged couples and was highly complimented by the positive feedback we got for our bespoke seating plans. The bespoke guestbook signature frames were also a hit. I've just finished e-mailing a new client who has ordered one for her wedding in Scotland in May. I suspect that attendance on Saturday and Sunday seemed impacted by the unbelievably hot weather but it didn't stop a really decent number of people braving the somewhat feeble air conditioning in the hall to come talk to us.
 We arrived home yesterday a mixture of euphoria and exhaustion but we've had some sleep and are looking forward to the next chapter. We've launched now so now it's just down to us to get the word out.
How exciting! : )

A Nice Nod From Bolton Business Boom

It's always a pleasure to be recognised in your own back yard which is why I was very proud to read an article about my exploits on the excellent Business Boom Bolton blog today. Business Boom is a central hub supporting and promoting local creative businesses and they contacted me last week because they found my shop on Folksy and were interested in promoting me. I sent them some quotes and images and voila! Hot off the press. I'm very grateful. It was particularly good to read because they were also kind enough to give a mention to my BOYGIRLBOY exploits as well. Thanks very much indeed! 

PRESS RELEASE

The launch of BOYGIRLBOY - Bespoke Framed Seating Plans –

at The National Wedding Show 2011

“It is now a lovely keepsake that we have up at home as a reminder of our special day. People still comment on how gorgeous it is,” Lucy – married to Paul in London 2010.

The National Wedding Show at Earl’s Court (30^th September – 2^nd October) will be the venue for the launch of a new bespoke design service for weddings and formal dinners.

BOYGIRLBOY offers a bespoke service creating professionally mounted and framed keepsake seating plans and matching guestbook signature frames that can be tailored to complement the style and theme of any formal dinner.

Each custom made frame is handcrafted and finished to the client’s particular specifications to impress on the day and become a beautiful and enduring keepsake to cherish at home after the event. The added option of a matching guestbook signature frame means that a record of the guests can be preserved along with their well wishes and sentiments on the day.

It is possible to buy framed seating plans for your special day but BOYGIRLBOY is, we believe, unique in that, to our knowledge, we are the only business currently offering a full custom design service producing mounted and framed seating plans that not only enhance the elegance and style of a celebration but also serve as a highly desirable keepsake. Similarly, no other business currently offers the option of a matching guestbook signature frame.

Creative Director, Jennie Rawlings, has many years of diverse experience as a designer and has developed her skills in the fields of theatre and costume design as well as most recently in interiors and home furnishings http://www.jennierawlings.com. The beginnings of her business came to fruition when she designed the seating plan for her own wedding and was subsequently asked to produce others for family and friends.

“As a designer, I wanted to design and create all the decorative elements of my wedding and I wanted to preserve our seating plan in a proper frame, mounted professionally, so that it looked really grand on the day and could go on a wall in our home afterwards. I assumed there would be a whole raft of companies vying to do this for me but I couldn’t find one. So I did it myself”.

“I hope that, like me, brides and other event organisers, will recognise what a really lovely thing this is to hang in their homes. I often find guests in our house perusing it casually. It has been a real talking point ever since we put it up. Additionally the option of a matching guestbook signature frame is a lovely complementary item for preserving the sentiments and well wishes of the guests”.

To our knowledge, BOYGIRLBOY is the only business producing this exclusive service combining the unique selling points of a full custom design service with an enduring and stylish product that is created to become a keepsake and the option of a matching guestbook signature frame to complement the event.

BOYGIRLBOY bespoke frames are not solely targeted at the wedding market either. The keepsake seating plans and guestbook signature frames make an appropriate and impressive addition to any formal dinner including birthdays, anniversaries and corporate events and also make ideal gifts for landmark celebrations.

Contact Details

BOYGIRLBOY Bespoke Framed Seating Plans.

Jennie Rawlings

Creative Director

07768 844145

mail@boygirlboy.com

http://www.boygirlboy.com