Guest List Blues

Arranging your seating plan is one of the most stressful things you will tackle when planning your wedding. Fact. It is also one of the last things that gets any consideration in the rush to organise all the things that have to be planned so far in advance such as booking a good photographer, caterer, choosing a dress, your stationery and flowers. I went through it just like every other bride out there so, here are my top tips for taking the pressure off:

1. Start planning well in advance. Even though it seems like a long way off, get going early on your seating plan early, even before you have all your replies back. You can add in or take people out as you go along but it will be much easier than starting from scratch as the wedding approaches and you get more and more busy. 

2. Make a list. Set up an Excel spreadsheet or a table on your computer and begin to group people together with likely table companions. If you prefer you could also do this with pieces of paper on a board but it takes up more space and you can't decamp with it to Starbucks when you're stressed out and desperately need to get a change of scene. Find out from your venue what table sizes they have available and what the maximum capacity of the dining area is. Make a separate list of odd-ones-out or people who are difficult to place so you can look for gaps for them later on.

3. Deal with sensitive issues properly. If you have family members who do not like each other for any reason, make a point of sensitively and privately discussing how they feel about where they sit. Obviously, it is your day, but you don't want it marred by a big row. Everyone has to know where they stand well in advance. It may be a difficult conversation but it is better than just 'deciding' for them. Once you have everyone's opinion, you will be in a better place to work out how to proceed. Do however make the point that the wedding breakfast will only be for a couple of hours and you would appreciate their support on your big day. Not everyone can sit on the top table and most people respect that but perhaps you could find ways to make those in your wedding party who do not end up sitting with you at dinner feel like an important part of the day. eg. giving a reading in the church, announcing the speeches or reading the cards from absent guests.

4. Create a suitable environment. When grouping guests together, think very carefully about what sort of atmosphere you would like at your wedding breakfast. I've been to a few weddings where I've been seated on a table away from my partner and often next to two people I do not know and will never meet again. This is fine for the naturally gregarious but I have to say that, personally, this is not a particularly comfortable situation. Give consideration to the individual personalities of your guests. You or your betrothed will know deep down how they will feel about where they sit. You want to ensure that your guests enjoy their meal as much as they enjoy the rest of your day.

5. Group guests according to their mutual interests and requirements. If you have a big group of mates who spend a lot of time together, seat them together. Bear age in mind when planning and make sure people with children are near a convenient exit for toilet trips and short breaks. You don't have to seat partners side by side but, as far as possible, do try to put them on the same table. And never attempt to play cupid at dinner (that's what the late night drinking and dancing is for). Finally, put older people where they can see the top table without difficulty and in a good position to hear the speeches if you are not using a PA system. If you put together a table of people who are naturally at ease with one another then you will find slotting in people who don't fall naturally into any particular group far more easy.

6. Get a second opinion. Sometimes it helps to get a little perspective. Choose someone organised and relatively impartial. When I was getting my married, my darling dad took over the job of fielding and chasing up all the RSVPs and feeding back to me regularly to help me organise. It took an enormous weight off my shoulders and he was able to give us  advice about where to put people when we got stuck. Too many cooks spoil the broth though so avoid asking too many people for their opinion.

So that's my 10 cents. If you have any further suggestions about working out a seating plan or have any experience to share, please do not hesitate to send them in. 

Start of The Process

Sample initial layout drawing for mood board

Today, I am taking a little time out from working in a job to record a little about our process here at BOYGIRLBOY. I have just been putting the finishing touches on some artwork that will eventually become part of a mood board for a lovely bride and groom who will be tie-ing the knot in April next year. 

We begin initial development of the design for our seating plans almost straight away but the real meat and bones of the work really begins when the invitations are ordered because, when that happens, the wedding party will be certain of the overall look and theme of their big day and the approximate number of guests. 

I received the invitation on the post last week beautifully presented in a lovely cream box and containing the invitation made with crisp, cream card and tied with a sage, satin ribbon. Exquisite. I derive from this much useful information. The colours: sage and cream, the style: very simple, crisp and elegant and the fonts: one is a swirling calligraphic script and the second, capitalised in bold roman sans serif. If I cannot match this font exactly, I will liaise with the stationers to get it just right. 

The number of invitations dispatched is eighty and I know from the bride that the tables will most likely seat ten people each so we are looking at eight tables. Now we have everything we need to begin on the mood board. 

This seating plan will be double mounted so I will match the inner mount a closely as possible to the sage and keep the main mount a textured cream. I am still waiting for the type of flower the bride has chosen for her bouquet so the photo aperture remains empty for now. Some couples like to include an engagement photo or other picture of themselves together but this bride is currently toying with "a white or cream bloom" to be confirmed. I will design a layout, similar the one above, for them to consider together with samples of mountboard, fonts, and frame profiles for the final desicions. 

The mood board will be sent out six to eight weeks before the date in April when the final guest list has more substance and the number of tables have been finalised. At this point we will begin on the actually production of the seating plan itself but the final guest list will not be inserted until seven to ten days before the wedding ready for dispatch to the venue.  I will revisit this project on the blog in future weeks as the seating plan takes shape. 

Please Find Your Place

I've discovered in the last month or so that we are a business that people struggle to categorise. Everything in the wedding industry seems to fall under a definitive heading: catering, dress, honeymoon, venue, stag/hen night, flowers, stationery, photography etc. For various events and publications so far I have found that I have to make a choice, pick a label if you like that captures the essence of what we're about. The closest bracket seems to be 'stationery', closely followed by 'venue decoration' since both are radically different categories in themselves, it would appear that we rather fall down the cracks. We are not a stationer - although we can provide matching items of stationery to accompany our seating plans if required. I have received inquiries about providing the additional service of place cards, menus and table names and numbers which we are more than happy to do. We do not provide venue decoration - although our framed seating plans do make an elegant and impressive introduction to the entrance of any banqueting hall.

I see us as being in the business of preserving memories. Your wedding day is only a reality for a maximum of 24 hours and, thereafter, it is committed to memory forever and the best way to remember it is through the people who were there celebrating alongside you, through photographs, guestbooks and keepsakes. 

If you are planning a formal dinner, the seating plan is something that you will personally put an exorbitant amount of time and effort into. It is a social minefield that causes stress and terrible arguments. Other than the final invitation list itself, it is the only part of a wedding that involves some serious political diplomacy. But when it's done and the pieces finally fall into place, you can sit back and look that this sea of dining harmony that you have created in the knowledge that you have arranged the perfect wedding breakfast. 

It's amazing then how many seating plans then just get thrown away or end up battered and forgotten in attics and cupboards when the celebrations are over. BOYGIRLBOY will help you to preserve all of this hard work in a beautiful bespoke frame that you can treasure forever. With our help you can make something practical into a lovely keepsake that can become a serious talking point on the wall of your home. And with our matching guestbook signature frames you can showcase some of your beautiful photography and record the sentiments and messages of your guests on the day of your wedding.

I don't mind at all that we are hard to define or slot into a category. We are unique and proud of the fact that we specialise in creating something meaningful and enduring that will last for years after the music has stopped and the champagne bottles emptied. A bit like marriage...