Game, Set & Match!

Congratulations to Tim and Sasha who married last weekend at beautiful Lainston House in Hampshire. Here is a picture of their bespoke BOYGIRLBOY seating plan on an ornate easel at the door of the dining room. They opted for an elegant, black, swept frame with a double mount in cream and white and a black and white portrait of the couple and their beloved Shih tzu Elizabeth. Both skilled tennis players, the tables were named after great female tennis stars. Game, set and match! 

Pen Pals

I have had an enquiry from a client about the best kinds of pen to give to guests for signing the mount of the guest signature frame she has ordered from us for her wedding in May. It was an excellent question that I had neither been asked before and nor to which I knew the answer. So it was time for a spot of investigation. I have tested 8 different types of ink pen on high quality mount the same as that used in the finished guest signature frames and my findings are detailed below. 

I suppose that you might also find this survey useful for planning any kind of guest message collection on your special day be they in a frame, a book or  elsewhere.

One final thing: I apologise for my horrible scrawl. All I will say is, I come from medical stock.

1. Fountain Pen - prices start from around £5.00 from any stationer or department store

If you are upward of thirty, you will probably remember the days when all school children learned to write at school with this extremely messy tool...and you will also remember being told not to share fountain pens because they accustom themselves to the hand of the writer. Very true. I used my husband's extremely posh Mont Blanc special for this sample. Scratchy, dragging and not recommended.

Verdict: 2/10

2. UNI-BALL Signo £1.99 each from WHSmiths

Not bad although the ink has quite a dull finish once dried (which you might actually like). A soft, continuous flow and a good price if you want to buy a few spares.

Verdict: 7/10

3. BEROL Italic (fine) £1.70 from Paperchase

A little too heavy for my liking but the mountboard takes the ink very well (without bleeding) and it creates an extremely bold finish. The price is good but some guests might struggle with the sharp shape of the nib. Perhaps a regular felt tipped pen would be a better bet if this is the look you're after.

Verdict: 6/10

4. PENTEL EnerGEL Liquid Gel Pen 0.7 £3.99 (pack of two) from WHSmiths

My favourite by far. Inexpensive with smooth flowing ink, quick drying and a strong, clean finish. 

Verdict: 9/10 - BEST OVERALL

5. PILOT V7 HI-TECPOINT 0.7 £2.99 from WHSmith

I've been using these pens since school; ever since I gave up bothering with ink cartridges and bottles. It's another very nice choice although a more expensive one. The ink flows well and dries quickly but the finish is more dull than the PENTEL above (which you may like) but overall the effect is very pleasing.

Verdict: 8/10

6. Generic Black Rollerball around £5.00 for a multipack of 10 from most supermarkets (mine were from Asda)

Very good quality for a mass-produced product. A teeny, tiny bit scratchy in places but this is barely noticeable. The ink is quick drying and dries to to a slightly dull but not apologetic finish. It gets the supreme value for money vote too.

Verdict: 7.5/10 - BEST VALUE

7. PILOT G-TEC-C4 £3.00 from Paperchase

A really good quality, fine writing pen...for anything but this job! Anyone trying to produce a flourish will find it scratchy and awkward. It just doesn't take to mountboard well and the result is faint and a bit weedy. Not recommended.

Verdict: 3/10

8. UNI-BALL VISION NEEDLE (fine) £2.25 from Paperchase

It has what it takes and is branded with the promise of being waterproof which might come in handy. Again, it dries to a slightly dull finish but flows well and dries quickly. The high price however means that it is not the best value for money if you're after a few. 

Verdict: 7/10

Please do not hesitate to contact me if you have any experiences to share regarding the subject of this post or have any suggestions. 

New Seating Plan Design

Presenting a new square design featuring a non-uniform eight table configuration, double-mounted with table numbers, dedication and photo aperture. The square frame is a sumptuous 7cm cushion profile with silver-flecked gilt finish. The mount is ivory inset (tables only) with burgundy.

Let's Keep it Clean!

Anyone who has been to a wedding will recognise three distinct phases to the day: Phase One - The proper part where everyone is polished, perfect and polite at the beginning, Phase Two - the interim bit where everyone's loosening up and starting to get a bit hungry and Phase Three - the after-dinner drinking and dancing. On the whole, a recipe for a truly magical and memorable occasion. But there will always be those who try might be tempted to try to be clever or naughty or both. I've borne witness to weddings with boob flashing, rows, sobbing bridesmaids, canoodling on snooker tables and people stuffing bits of table dressing into their handbags...and that was just mine. (I jest!) In short, alcohol is a very necessary and very human part of any celebration. So, today, when I was yet again asked what has now become a very common question, it got me thinking about the human condition when it comes to fascinators and champagne and ink pens. Why is it, do you think, that people like to write on plastercasts? Could it be all that clean, white, pure surface waiting to be dirtied and sloganed? It's like a pile of leaves or an expanse of untouched snow. It's temptation. So, how do you stop guests at your big day from spoiling your beautiful clean signature frame with (shall we say) fruity comments or cartoons that might detract somewhat from the lovely sober messages of goodwill when you come to hang it in your home as a momento of your wonderful wedding day. I've had a think and an ask around, and this is what we've come up with:

How to Limit The Risk of Inappropriate Comments on A Guest Signature Frame

1. The first thing is to treat your guest signature frame as yet another stage in the day and make sure you time it right. At some point towards the end of Phase One and the beginning of Phase Two should be perfect; when folks are still on their best behaviour and aren't compensating for being a bit peckish by necking a bit too much champagne. At a suitable point close to the entrance of your reception or in a prominent place close by the gathering is ideal. Make it look purposeful by laying it on a nice crisp cloth and having your florist finish the table with some extra blooms or petals. Making it a feature will draw people near. People love reading messages and tributes and a crowd is most likely to deter any horse play or ill-advised contributions at this stage.
2. Go on! Give your attendants another job to do. As I always say, they're in it for more than the stag do and the dress and they'd better not forget it! Choose a trusted bridesmaid or groomsman and give them the job of getting as many people as possible to sign the mount during the drinks reception. It need be no longer than an hour or hour and a half tops, they can work shifts and, if you make it their responsibility, they'll be on any potential ne'er-do-wells like a tramp on chips.
3. You could make an announcement but this might come over a bit precious or bossy. Nobody likes it when you assume they are going to misbehave even if they know in their hearts that they desperately want to get their hands on that disposable camera and take 36 pictures of peoples bosoms with it. Instead, why not place a witty and easy-going - and yet at the same time crystal clear - sign somewhere prominent advising people to think twice before leaving a message or drawing that includes cheek, profanity or anything that does not in some way reflect their purest thoughts on this most sacred of occasions. (BOYGIRLBOY will be happy to help you with this notice completely free of charge by the way).
4. Have an attendant or member of staff at the venue remove the frame from sight and safely stored during dinner. If anyone important has been missed out (impossible!), then they can always sign it at a later date but seriously, by 8pm, enough is enough. It's time to party!
5. Lastly, a novel one this and probably the most effective by far: Position your signature frame within easy sight of a comfy seating area where many of the more mature guests are likely to gravitate at various points during the reception, the idea being that people are less likely to lark about with granny doling out hard stares in their peripheral vision. It would definitely work with my granny.

What you consider to be inappropriate comment will, of course, be subjective and an affair that is entirely for you, but most people should realise that a wedding is not the place for black humour, life drawing practice or indeed to try out new stand-up material particularly when two, or possibly three, sheets to the wind. By following some or all of these steps, it is my hope that disaster may be averted. Please let me know if you come up with any more. 

RSVP Blues

You've been to the Post Office and you've put all your beautiful, clean, crisp invitations into the letter box. All done. Now all you have to do is wait for the RSVPs to flood in. Initially, you will get quite a flutter from your more organised friends and loved ones but, as time goes on, you may experience some frustration as things slow down and exasperation takes over. The psychology surrounding the act of RSVP-ing to a wedding invitation is best left to the experts but this observer puts it down to the fact that, while your wedding is the biggest thing in your life, everyone else is merrily carrying on as usual and, with the best will in the world, people are really good at putting things off that do not immediately affect their day-to-day lives.  I have found that a lot of people (mostly men I'm afraid) think that telling you that they 'wouldn't miss it' when you announce your engagement is sufficient RSVP for the big day. It's not because they don't care, it's just the way things are. So the key to staving off the RSVP blues is to put in place some RSVP options that are simple and accessible to all. These are my top tips: 

1. Include an RSVP card. Lamentably, the days of putting a lovely fountain pen to paper to write a wedding acceptance is long over. This may be due to general changes to society's mores or because the digital age has made writing letters largely passe but don't expect them because they are unlikely to be forthcoming. Make it easy for your guests. Include a self-addressed postcard with your invitation and require the least input possible from the recipient. ie. say "I will/ will not be able to attend (delete as appropriate)" or words to that effect. Add a space at the bottom for dietary requirements and that's it. Most stationers will offer this product to match your invitations if you don't want to do it yourself. 

2. Put your stamp on it. Here's the important bit. When enclosing RSVP postcards or notes, it is advisable to put a stamp on each one. First or second class, it matters not. Many people put off trying to find stamps or visiting a post office in favour of something more 'urgent' to do. It's human. Put a stamp on it and then all they have to do is cross out an option and put it in the postbox. Job done.

3. Embrace technology. More and more people are introducing an option requiring guests to RSVP to their personal e-mails. Add an e-mail to the RSVP options on your invitation. Pretty much everyone under seventy (and quite a few above that age too) has access to a computer and an e-mail account. For many, it is more natural to them than using the telephone. Why not use this as the perfect opportunity to set up your joint e-mail account. eg. "janeandjoesbigday@domain.co.uk" or mrandmrssmith@domain.co.uk. Then you can compile an e-mail group of your guests to keep them updated or chase up responses with just a couple of clicks.

4. Site savvy. Why not have a wedding website built. There are companies that will do this now and they don't have to cost the earth. They can be as simple as one page with a map, times and dates and maybe a little forum for people to leave you messages. If you want to, you could even go to a domain registry and buy your own domain name. Depending upon the availability of the name you want and the end bit eg. .com. .net. .co.uk this will cost anything between £2 and around £80 for a year's registration. One word of caution though: avoid putting the date of your wedding on an internet site that is not password protected. There are just too many shady types lurking about on the information highway to risk your big day turning into a flash mob. I'm not being paranoid. It's rare but it has happened. Anyone who has received a postal invitation will know the date so that information isn't necessary.  Make sure there is a big old button somewhere prominent inviting people to RSVP now. Again, it makes it easier for people. If you are the creative type, there are a number of free web-builders on the internet where you can build your own site without having to know about code and geeky stuff. You will still need to pay for hosting but this does not need to be more than a few pounds a month. 

5. Blog it. If you aren't sure you want the hassle and expense of a website, there is another option available to you. You may well be the type to want to create a running record of your preparations leading up to your big day and, if so, why not start a blog to record your thoughts and updates and ask your guests to follow your progress. There are many free blogging sites that allow you to get up and running in a matter of minutes. Blogs are just another form of website that has the benefit being free while encouraging interaction with your friends and family. Add an RSVP link and there'll be no excuse for them not to get in touch.

5. Facebook. Not an option I'd go with because it is extremely public but if the majority of your guests are devotees of the social networking site, it might be worth creating an event page or group that includes the option to RSVP. Again, it is a very simple way to keep people apprised of developments about your event with the minimum possible effort. Again, please note that it is ill-advised to post the date of your wedding on a public website.

5. Friends with benefits. Your bridesmaids and groomsmen aren't just in it for the dress and the stag do. They are essentially your unpaid help for the day and their job begins when you start planning your wedding. Hopefully, you will have at least one or two trustworthy types amongst your wedding party who can take on the job of fielding your RSVPs and, more importantly, to chase up the stragglers. Give someone this job. A quick phone call or e-mail from a wedding attendant is a lot less confrontational for those afflicted by radio silence than one from the bride or groom and it takes some of the weight off your shoulders too. If none of your bridesmaids or groomsmen fit the bill, ask a parent or sibling instead. The key word here is trust. Give them a deadline and ask them to stick to it. 

5. Spread your bets. Give people as many options as possible to RSVP in as timely a fashion as possible. I'm not suggesting use all the options I've written about above but definitely use more than one: as a minimum, I would suggest the SAE and e-mail options but the fact is, the sooner you know what sort of numbers you're dealing with, the less stressed you will feel, particularly if you have a second round list in mind. It may be necessary and a commonplace practice but nobody is fooled as to their place in the pecking order when an invitation drops onto their doormat with a fortnight to go. 

I hope this has been helpful. If you have any comments about this post or any personal experience to share then please do not hesitate to get in touch. Good luck! 

Guest List Blues

Arranging your seating plan is one of the most stressful things you will tackle when planning your wedding. Fact. It is also one of the last things that gets any consideration in the rush to organise all the things that have to be planned so far in advance such as booking a good photographer, caterer, choosing a dress, your stationery and flowers. I went through it just like every other bride out there so, here are my top tips for taking the pressure off:

1. Start planning well in advance. Even though it seems like a long way off, get going early on your seating plan early, even before you have all your replies back. You can add in or take people out as you go along but it will be much easier than starting from scratch as the wedding approaches and you get more and more busy. 

2. Make a list. Set up an Excel spreadsheet or a table on your computer and begin to group people together with likely table companions. If you prefer you could also do this with pieces of paper on a board but it takes up more space and you can't decamp with it to Starbucks when you're stressed out and desperately need to get a change of scene. Find out from your venue what table sizes they have available and what the maximum capacity of the dining area is. Make a separate list of odd-ones-out or people who are difficult to place so you can look for gaps for them later on.

3. Deal with sensitive issues properly. If you have family members who do not like each other for any reason, make a point of sensitively and privately discussing how they feel about where they sit. Obviously, it is your day, but you don't want it marred by a big row. Everyone has to know where they stand well in advance. It may be a difficult conversation but it is better than just 'deciding' for them. Once you have everyone's opinion, you will be in a better place to work out how to proceed. Do however make the point that the wedding breakfast will only be for a couple of hours and you would appreciate their support on your big day. Not everyone can sit on the top table and most people respect that but perhaps you could find ways to make those in your wedding party who do not end up sitting with you at dinner feel like an important part of the day. eg. giving a reading in the church, announcing the speeches or reading the cards from absent guests.

4. Create a suitable environment. When grouping guests together, think very carefully about what sort of atmosphere you would like at your wedding breakfast. I've been to a few weddings where I've been seated on a table away from my partner and often next to two people I do not know and will never meet again. This is fine for the naturally gregarious but I have to say that, personally, this is not a particularly comfortable situation. Give consideration to the individual personalities of your guests. You or your betrothed will know deep down how they will feel about where they sit. You want to ensure that your guests enjoy their meal as much as they enjoy the rest of your day.

5. Group guests according to their mutual interests and requirements. If you have a big group of mates who spend a lot of time together, seat them together. Bear age in mind when planning and make sure people with children are near a convenient exit for toilet trips and short breaks. You don't have to seat partners side by side but, as far as possible, do try to put them on the same table. And never attempt to play cupid at dinner (that's what the late night drinking and dancing is for). Finally, put older people where they can see the top table without difficulty and in a good position to hear the speeches if you are not using a PA system. If you put together a table of people who are naturally at ease with one another then you will find slotting in people who don't fall naturally into any particular group far more easy.

6. Get a second opinion. Sometimes it helps to get a little perspective. Choose someone organised and relatively impartial. When I was getting my married, my darling dad took over the job of fielding and chasing up all the RSVPs and feeding back to me regularly to help me organise. It took an enormous weight off my shoulders and he was able to give us  advice about where to put people when we got stuck. Too many cooks spoil the broth though so avoid asking too many people for their opinion.

So that's my 10 cents. If you have any further suggestions about working out a seating plan or have any experience to share, please do not hesitate to send them in. 

Start of The Process

Sample initial layout drawing for mood board

Today, I am taking a little time out from working in a job to record a little about our process here at BOYGIRLBOY. I have just been putting the finishing touches on some artwork that will eventually become part of a mood board for a lovely bride and groom who will be tie-ing the knot in April next year. 

We begin initial development of the design for our seating plans almost straight away but the real meat and bones of the work really begins when the invitations are ordered because, when that happens, the wedding party will be certain of the overall look and theme of their big day and the approximate number of guests. 

I received the invitation on the post last week beautifully presented in a lovely cream box and containing the invitation made with crisp, cream card and tied with a sage, satin ribbon. Exquisite. I derive from this much useful information. The colours: sage and cream, the style: very simple, crisp and elegant and the fonts: one is a swirling calligraphic script and the second, capitalised in bold roman sans serif. If I cannot match this font exactly, I will liaise with the stationers to get it just right. 

The number of invitations dispatched is eighty and I know from the bride that the tables will most likely seat ten people each so we are looking at eight tables. Now we have everything we need to begin on the mood board. 

This seating plan will be double mounted so I will match the inner mount a closely as possible to the sage and keep the main mount a textured cream. I am still waiting for the type of flower the bride has chosen for her bouquet so the photo aperture remains empty for now. Some couples like to include an engagement photo or other picture of themselves together but this bride is currently toying with "a white or cream bloom" to be confirmed. I will design a layout, similar the one above, for them to consider together with samples of mountboard, fonts, and frame profiles for the final desicions. 

The mood board will be sent out six to eight weeks before the date in April when the final guest list has more substance and the number of tables have been finalised. At this point we will begin on the actually production of the seating plan itself but the final guest list will not be inserted until seven to ten days before the wedding ready for dispatch to the venue.  I will revisit this project on the blog in future weeks as the seating plan takes shape.